Thursday, January 27, 2011

Dr. Stripper

I didn't want to mention it, but here I go. Tomorrow, I shall play Candy the Stripper in a staged reading at Theater Row. Candy, I've decided, is stripping her way through med school. That's not anywhere in the script, it's just something that helps me through the day.

Wanna hear my favorite lyric from the show?

"Mr. Hot Dog Man, come as soon as you can / I need a little meat in my roll."

Sarcasm.

Do you know what's funny about being a stripper? It actually feels like you're a stripper. There's no discernible difference. We're actually not doing anything racy that involves any nudity, so it's not like I'm super exposed or anything. But it's weird how if you're asked to "pretend" to get down and dirty, it's actually like getting down and dirty. The frame of it being a "performance" doesn't make it any less revealing.

In other words: pretending to strip in a play feels a lot like stripping for real. Because that is what you're doing. Because, like, plays are supposed to be, like, real. That's what acting is, man.

This post brought to you by Obvious: Making Obvious Things Obvious Since Forever, Obviously.

Also brought to you by: Felicia Is Low On Blog Material.

--FR

P.S. Here's what I'm thinking for my next post: "How Not To Stay In Shape." Thoughts? Seriously, though.

8 comments:

  1. How not to stay in shape: (food)
    -add sugar to everything even if it doesn't call for it (cookies, pepsi, sugar coated doughnuts)
    -small treats like M&Ms can be stored anywhere. Throw some in your pockets, purse, desk drawer,socks, etc, to have a snack anytime you like!
    -substitute milk for soda ex. in cereal
    If none of these work these guys can help you out with salads:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFB_vHVFM_8

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  2. That was the most amazing video I've ever seen.

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  3. Ha! "Low On Blog Material". Been there...
    What's the show? Or can you... you know... not talk about it or something...

    I love reading your ramblings...

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  4. Did i see you at the Golden Globes for your role on Glee reprising your off broadway role as a stripper ... or was I having a glimpse of the future in a dream again? Ha! Dont ya just hate when that happens. LOL

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  5. I agree with you and anonymous #1. that video was indeed amazing.

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  6. Will there be a video of your staged reading?

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  7. Can your next post please feature Chipotle as a means to staying sexy? We all know it works, now someone just has to write THEIR success story!

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  8. Well, "pretending to [stay in shape] in a play feels a lot like [staying in shape] for real."

    There ya go!

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