Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Where slightly sh*ttier stuff is slightly cheaper!

Well, I've found my new "outlet": OUTLET SHOPPING!

(PUNS! GETCHA PUNS HEYUH!)

Today I traversed the great and glorious expanse known as Philadelphia Premium Outlets, which incidentally was steps away from a nuclear power plant. There, accompanied by my boyfriend and his ma and sis, I shopped all my cares away.

Gender-wise, the shopping odds were fantastic, as the ladies had a clear hormonal supermajority (estrogen : testosterone : : 3 : 1), which meant we basically ventured into each and every store without exception (sorry for the sexist generalization...except I'm not sorry, because I just went shopping, and I have no remorse after I go shopping). 

Naturally I came home with many spoils, to the tune of: two pairs of pants, a shirt, and sunglasses -- all totaling $5.00!*

*Okay, maybe I spent more than $5.00.

But all you need to know is: I won, and companies lost! Because isn't shopping really a contest, in the end? In New York City terms, the final tab was roughly equivalent to a deli sandwich. And whereas I devour my deli sandwiches in mere seconds, now I'm going to look amazing for the rest of my life, and is there anything more happiness-inducing than looking amazing? 

I didn't think so.

Frankly, I feel better than I've felt in a long time. I almost feel like the outlets paid *me* to buy their stuff. 

Sure, the Forever 21 was not so much an outlet as just a kind of sh*tty Forever 21 with no stock. Sure, the J. Crew sweaters were marked down from $89.95 to $89.94. Sure, I bought things I absolutely do not need, but do you see the inherent triumph of it all? As a consumer I like to feel like I've come out on top, even if it means amassing closets upon closets of slightly cheaper, poorer-quality, outlet-specific merchandise

Go, me!

What do you think of outlet shopping? 



5 comments:

  1. I dislike shopping. I'm not sure if this makes me less of a female or not? Since I dislike shopping it generally leads to me either looking like a grandmother or homeless a lot of the time. I did make great strides today by creating a Pinterest board for fashion. It has one thing in it. I can't even pretend to shop.

    On another note, while you were in Philly, did you lick the Liberty Bell? (random How I Met Your Mother reference lol) (I would tell you that while I was in Chicago I was inspired by that episode to lick The Bean, but you might think I was weird.) (Probably too late for that...)

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  2. I hate shopping, too. I get a lot of my gear from Freecycle or ReUseIt right around the time the Freshman 15 kicks in. I get 1.) designer duds; 2.) from people half my age; 3.) FOR FREE. ---Karen Morano, Felicia's very funniest friend on Facebook

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  3. Like those before me, I hate shopping. I don't really shop that much...

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  4. My dream shopping trip would be that everything I take into a dressing room FITS! And also, it's cheap. However, if it fits, I don't even care if it's on sale. Being short and not a size two complicates matters :-)

    I've been inspired to go consignment store shopping. Right now. Wish me luck!!

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  5. I live just a few minutes from a huge "outlet" mall; Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale's, Saks, Betsey Johnson.....they all have stores there, along with hundreds of other shops. I found a sequinned Nanette Lapore dress last year reduced to $100; I thought I had hit the motherlode, but there's only been one event I could wear it to (maybe I'll wear it to your next book reading, even if it's at Housing Works again :))

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